Selfish Reasons to Exercise Compassion
Posted: Friday, August 08, 2008
by Ingrid Weir
http://www.facebook.com/ingritaweir
A friend of mine and I were talking about religion, politics, etc... That is how a conversation with me normally goes whether anyone likes it or not…
So, he was telling me about the writings of the Dalai Lama, which made me want to learn more about it. I've known a little about the Buddhist religion and have agreed with most of the teachings, but I had never really delved into all of it as I do with everything else.
Friends and enemies
I must emphasize again that merely thinking that compassion and reason and patience are good will not be enough to develop them. We must wait for difficulties to arise and then attempt to practice them.
And who creates such opportunities? Not our friends, of course, but our enemies. They are the ones who give us the most trouble, so if we truly wish to learn, we should consider enemies to be our best teacher!
For a person who cherishes compassion and love, the practice of tolerance is essential, and for that, an enemy is indispensable. So we should feel grateful to our enemies, for it is they who can best help us develop a tranquil mind! Also, it is often the case in both personal and public life, that with a change in circumstances, enemies become friends.
So anger and hatred are always harmful, and unless we train our minds and work to reduce their negative force, they will continue to disturb us and disrupt our attempts to develop a calm mind. Anger and hatred are our real enemies. These are the forces we most need to confront and defeat, not the temporary "enemies" who appear intermittently throughout life.
Of course, it is natural and right that we all want friends. I often joke that if you really want to be selfish, you should be very altruistic! You should take good care of others, be concerned for their welfare, help them, serve them, make more friends, make more smiles, the result? When you yourself need help, you find plenty of helpers! If, on the other hand, you neglect the happiness of others, in the long term you will be the loser. And is friendship produced through quarrels and anger, jealousy and intense competitiveness? I do not think so. Only affection brings us genuine close friends.
In today's materialistic society, if you have money and power, you seem to have many friends. But they are not friends of yours; they are the friends of your money and power. When you lose your wealth and influence, you will find it very difficult to track these people down.
The trouble is that when things in the world go well for us, we become confident that we can manage by ourselves and feel we do not need friends, but as our status and health decline, we quickly realize how wrong we were. That is the moment when we learn who is really helpful and who is completely useless. So to prepare for that moment, to make genuine friends who will help us when the need arises, we ourselves must cultivate altruism!
Though sometimes people laugh when I say it, I myself always want more friends. I love smiles. Because of this, I have the problem of knowing how to make more friends and how to get more smiles, in particular, genuine smiles. For there are many kinds of smile, such as sarcastic, artificial or diplomatic smiles. Many smiles produce no feeling of satisfaction, and sometimes they can even create suspicion or fear, can't they? But a genuine smile really gives us a feeling of freshness and is, I believe, unique to human beings. If these are the smiles we want, then we ourselves must create the reasons for them to appear.
You can find more about ‘Compassion and the Individual' at: http://www.dalailama.com/page.166.htm
Even though I, myself, am a practicing Christian, I understand Mahatma Gandhi's stance, "I love your Christ. It's just that so many of you Christians are so unlike your Christ." It seems, though, that both religions are quite similar in that they both preach respect for one another, unconditional love, and compassion among other qualities revolving around kindness and love.
It seems we could all use a genuine smile a day… perhaps we should start out by giving one, and pretty soon, maybe we all will begin to receive.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Yes a smile does work wonders but we should never forget beware the Easter Bunny, pleasing on the outside but a roaring lion within, or the one who comes dressed as a sheep but is the wolf? Does that say do not trust, do not smile, no it does mean be intelligent, know who you are letting in? How, by their works they shall be known. Best wishes Ingrid and nice smile. Without rudeness intended, your features radiate what I perceive your inner self as being and are a good example of what you write to. Yet it dos not discount what I have stated. regards,Thank you, Robert. I take it as a total compliment, but I understand what you are saying. :-)
Ingrid,I truly enjoyed your article. Anger and hatred are certainly paralyzing to everyones life. And everyone could use more friends. It is true that you discover who your true friends are when you really need them. I have always said that the only way to tell how many friends you truly have is to count the ones who show up on the day you have to move.DanThank you, Dan. I appreciate your kind words, and you are quite right! The day you move or are in the hospital... those are when you find your true friends. ;-)Hope all is well with you.Kindest regards,Ingrid
Thanks for sharing this information. It is a truth Yaweh has been teaching since Adam and Eve. Practicing it is another story. Thanks for the reminder. We need them, especially in this area. :-) Many blessings to you and good day to youThank you, Teresa. It is amazing how much the different religions are similar in these aspects, isn't it? Practicing is definitely difficult at times, but I think if we keep trying, each little bit helps, right?Many blessings to you, as well!
Ingrid,Nicely done. It's always good to do the right thing even if people don't reciprocate. See Kent Keith's book, Anyway: The paradoxical commandments. As you say, we certainly can learn many spiritual truths from religions other than the one we embrace. Thanks for an open-minded view on this and our need to put out positive energy in our lives.Thank you, James. Your positive energy has definitely made my day. It's amazing the differences and similarities. Thank you for your openness and positivity!
Hi Ingrid.Your article is as timely today as it was (oddly enough) on my birthday in 2008. I've been reading the Dalai Lama's writings for quite a few years now and this particular bit is very inspiring. It made me smile just to read it. Thank you for bringing it to attention.DianneHi Dianne!Wow... was a funny coincidence! Happy belated birthday then. :--)Yes, the Dalai Lama has such amazing insight. I'm glad to bring a smile to your face... and thank you for reminding me of this again!Kindest regards,Ingrid
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