The Importance of Friendship - and Frenemies
Posted: Tuesday, August 09, 2011
by Ingrid Weir
http://www.facebook.com/ingritaweir
I have been referred to as a friend collector on more than one occasion. I have a problem; once you are my friend, you are my friend whether you like it or not. We may go for years without seeing each other or even speaking at times, but unless you royally screw up by inflicting felonious harm or the like on someone, you’re mine for life.
Still, though, there are the special friends… the soul mates. The friend, who knows instinctively when something is wrong. This friend can see through your rosy Facebook updates and reassuring text messages. This friend will pick up the phone and call because they know that you will not be able to hide it in your voice. This friend is there in good times and in bad; they know every bad thing you have done, and you know the same with them. You may do nice things for each other, but that is not why you are friends. You are simply friends because you cannot help yourselves; the connection is simply too strong for you to resist.
Of course, we have all had frenemies. You know, the ones, who insist on being your friend for some reason, but they never show up when you need them. These are the ones, who are jealous and petty, but they still tell you how much they love you to your face. These are the friends, who will always be around when they need something from you, or when you are fun to be around when they are bored. The best way to find out how good of a friend these ones are is to be really sick or really need help. These ones may have you fooled up until that point, but when they do not show up when you need them without good reason, that is when you know that you have, indeed, encountered a frenemy. I would suggest keeping your boyfriend/girlfriend/boss/etc. away from them.
So, yes, friendships are incredibly important in my life. Even the frenemies are fun to be around when you do not need an actual friend. Friends are your family that you choose – and if you are really lucky, you will have family that you can choose to be your friends, as well. I truly cannot imagine my life or where I would be without my friends, and I feel incredibly sorry for anyone unfortunate enough to not know the true value of a friend… the feeling you get when you see someone you love, and you know that they love you no matter what… that is priceless.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Do you think that the same soul is a frenemie to one person and an intuitive loving friend to another? I have never been able to answer this question for myself.
Do frenemies exist because the odds are your are going to get people like that? Or do they serve some purpose? Some "frenemies" would swear they are not like that. Right? Anyway, great article. It made me think. You're good!You know, Christofer, I have oftentimes wondered about this... but I have to tell you, in my experience, frenemies will ultimately become just that to anyone close to them.
Professionals may call them histrionic, narcissistic, sociopathic, or whatever personalities. Others may call them less-nice things than those, but I do think they serve a purpose. What exactly is the purpose? Well, for one, they make you appreciate the actual friends in your life - and for another thing, they are oftentimes fun to be around and may or may not be able to help with areas in your life that as a "nice" person, you may need help from a different perspective.
Personally, I have kept my frenemies with me throughout time - most of them - there are limits. For instance, once you sleep with my boyfriend or commit a felony/slander/etc. against those I love and/or me, you're outta here. Otherwise, I do not believe in keeping them close, but I will still always remain there for them when they need me. I'm not positive why, but I have collected several over time, and I do love them dearly despite their social difficulties.
So, I'm not sure if I answered your questions in a way that made sense, but thanks! LOL - you really made me think about some things - and you are right, many of them swear they are the nicest people ever - I'm never quite sure how they believe that, but they do for some reason!I know of one person who because of family connections is called an "evil sociopath who endlessly praises himself". Everyone who knows him as such concludes that the only purpose he serves is to cause others to control their temper, learn about forgiveness, and meditate on not using violence. If they only knew the purposes they serve!!!!!LOL - so true! Everyone has their purpose! Of course, this is part of why I never want anyone to tell me what others say about me behind my back. I'm afraid to know what my purpose is!
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